What I Wish Series

Blog #3: What I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self as a Hard-of-Hearing Student 

Hello again! This is the last of three articles in this series. The first article focused on raising awareness within the hard-of-hearing community by sharing resources, personal experiences, and strategies for navigating hearing loss. The second article focused more on the educational aspects of hearing loss and how educators should navigate academic spaces with students with hearing loss. If you haven't had the chance to read both articles yet, here's the link directed to both!

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As a reminder, I ask for your respect and consideration as you approach this blog. Everything I write comes from my own personal experiences. My experiences don't define what every hard-of-hearing person experiences or should experience, because everyone's journey with hearing loss is unique. 

With that being said, I hope you’re enjoying the series so far, and let’s dive into our last one!

Don't let people who don't understand your journey define your limits.

While I know this is easier said than done, it is natural to want guidance from people we look up to and trust. We often value their opinions because we believe they have more experience or knowledge than we do.

However, no one knows you better than you know yourself. You should never allow someone else’s doubts, assumptions, or expectations to become the way you see yourself.

What I mean by this is that I had people encourage me to follow a certain path with my hearing loss simply because it worked for others.

Although their intentions often came from a place of care, I learned that someone else’s success does not automatically mean their journey is the right one for me.

Hearing loss is personal, and there is no single "correct" way to navigate it.

When I was younger, my family and I were understandably overwhelmed and uncertain. Because of that, we considered nearly every opinion we were given, hoping someone would have the answer.

Eventually, we sought guidance from professionals with extensive expertise who took the time to evaluate my individual situation rather than compare me to someone else's.

They challenged many of the assumptions we had previously been told and believed in my potential. They said, "Amena has the ability to catch up and learn to speak."

That experience taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my hearing loss journey: always trust in your own abilities. Listen to advice, but remember that not every opinion is a fact.

Take people's opinions with a grain of salt, ask questions, seek credible expertise, and advocate for yourself. Your journey should be shaped by what is best for you, not by what others assume is possible.

Do not allow one unsuccessful mapping appointment, difficult conversation, or failed friendship to become the definition of your hearing loss journey

I know this can be hard to come to terms with, especially when our hearing loss journey feels never-ending, and you’re waiting for a miracle to occur. 

And then you hear that your hearing isn't up to par, or you find out your friends feel a certain way about you because of your accommodations, and, to make it even worse, you were grocery shopping and wanted to advocate for yourself but ended up embarrassing yourself.

None of these moments are due to hearing loss, but simply because they’re part of life. They are meant to teach us a lesson, though sometimes it may be in a weird and unexpected form. 

Even people with hearing loss have hesitated before starting a conversation, second-guessing themselves and lacking self-confidence. 

A key mindset that has helped is acknowledging that, despite everything that could've happened, you still showed up. Yes, my hearing is not as good as it should be, but at least I tried.

Yes, my friend disrespected me, but they taught me what I value in a friendship versus what strikes me as a red flag. Yes, we kept asking each other for repeats, but at least we were patient with each other.

Also, celebrate the small moments. You ordered for yourself, helped an elderly person, and navigated a difficult setting every day.

Though it may be too small for a person without hearing loss, it’s because they never had to think about their circumstances. 

But you did, and you still came out on the other side. That’s no small feat. Your hearing journey is just getting started!

You are not responsible for shrinking yourself because of other people’s sacrifices, opinions, or expectations.

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ou are not responsible for shrinking yourself because of other people’s sacrifices, opinions, or expectations.

This took me a long time to accept and implement in my everyday life, and honestly, I still am.

In the society we live in, which is often unwilling to accommodate those who need it, it's easy to subconsciously make ourselves smaller just to fit in or be treated fairly.

I especially felt compelled to do this after hearing such remarks throughout my educational journey. For a long time, I thought I was the problem, but I couldn’t identify what I had done wrong. I spent so much time trying to fix myself that I never stopped to ask whether the environment around me needed fixing.

Eventually, I realized there was never a problem to fix in the first place. If anything, I needed more time to build confidence in my own skin and stop blaming my hearing loss for every incident that occurred. Giving myself the benefit of the doubt is what allowed me to reach this point.

I know it’s very natural to create a negative perception of something that carries such a huge weight in our lives, but we have to work on shifting our mindset because it can make all the difference. It doesn’t erase the challenges, but it helps us carry them with more self-compassion instead of self-blame. 

You will find your people and thrive in the environment that suits you best!

You will find your people and thrive in the environment that suits you best. I truly believe this comes with time. 

It may not happen immediately, and there may be moments where you feel like you don't belong or that you have to change yourself to be accepted. 

However, the right people will never make you feel like you are too much or that your needs are an inconvenience. They will recognize your value, listen to your experiences, and appreciate you for who you are.

Finding those spaces takes patience, but I promise they exist. 

There are people out there who will support you, advocate alongside you, and remind you that your hearing loss does not limit the person you can become. 

Until you find them, keep giving yourself the same understanding and compassion you would give someone else. You deserve to take up space, be heard, and feel comfortable being yourself.

Lastly, thank you.

Thank you to my younger self for always showing up, even when you didn’t want to. I remember each speech session when I would leave frustrated, in tears, or moody, yet I always came back to the next one, willing to prove myself even more.

Thank you to my younger self for being so brave and resilient. That foundation from such a young age let me step into much deeper challenges with a clear head.

Thank you to my younger self for always being so curious and observant. Despite all the hardships, you were never afraid to ask questions or view things differently. You were quietly challenging doubts day by day without even realizing it.

And most of all, thank you for embracing your happiness from a young age. It is a unique trait, but I am grateful to carry that ray of sunshine within myself. It allows me to see the subtle sunshine on rainy days, the flashlight on dark nights, and the A.C. on a hot day.

You remind me why I am the way I am and why I do everything I do. I hope you look at me now and feel proud of the person you see. Proud that all those moments of uncertainty, frustration, and growth led to something meaningful.

And to anyone reading this, I hope you give yourself the same grace that your younger self always deserved. Be proud of the progress you’ve made, even if you are still becoming the person you hope to be. One day, you will look back at your current self with even more appreciation and realize how much you've overcome.