Things I Used to Be Embarrassed About (But Aren't Anymore or Not As Much)

Asking for Repeats and Being Asked for Repeats

One of my biggest struggles growing up was asking people to repeat themselves and having people ask me to repeat myself.

As someone who loved socializing, I carried guilt with every repeat, whether it came from me or from others.

It always hit the hardest when I was completely immersed in a conversation. In those moments, I would forget about the permanent mark on my ears. For a little while, I felt like everyone else. Then, suddenly, reality would interrupt.

"Wait, can you say that again?"

Or I'd think to myself, I didn't catch that. Ugh, I feel so bad asking them to repeat it.

When someone asked me to repeat myself, my first thought wasn't, They just didn't hear me.

Instead, it was, Oh no. I forgot about my speech. Why can't I just speak without wondering if people understand me?

I would smile, repeat myself, and keep the conversation going. But internally, I felt myself shrinking. It was another reminder of something I couldn't change.

Eventually, though, I became emotionally exhausted from measuring my worth by repeating myself. So I slowly began changing the way I looked at them.

I started noticing something.

Whenever the same person who had asked me to repeat myself later asked someone else to repeat themselves, I immediately felt relieved.

That made me wonder: what was really different between them and me?

Maybe they articulated more clearly than I did.

Maybe the other person genuinely didn't hear them.

Or maybe they simply mumbled that one time.

The truth is, none of us catch every single word someone says. Conversations happen in noisy rooms, people speak too fast, words blend together, and everyone has moments where they miss something. That's part of being human; it isn't exclusive to hearing loss.

In fact, asking someone to repeat themselves often says something positive. It shows they're making an effort to understand you instead of pretending they heard or brushing your words aside. Of course, every situation is different, but I've learned not to immediately assume a repeat is because of my hearing loss or my speech.

My biggest takeaway:

Don't be afraid of repeats. They're a normal part of communication, whether you have perfect hearing, hearing loss, or anything in between. Give yourself, and others, the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, that's enough to stop your hearing loss from becoming the explanation for every interaction and instead make it just one small part of who you are.

Asking for Accommodations

This is something I believe everyone, regardless of where they are in their hearing loss journey, is still working on.

Like I've mentioned in previous blogs, accommodations are a right that everyone is entitled to, but unfortunately, they're not always granted.

As someone who had the fortunate opportunity to grow up with a strong support system that advocated for me, transitioning into advocating for myself wasn't easy.

I was afraid of my speech impediment. I feared other people overhearing my conversations and judging me. Most of all, I was afraid that even after asking, I still wouldn't receive the accommodations I needed.

Sometimes I rehearsed what I wanted to say in my head before approaching someone. Sometimes I delayed asking because speaking up felt more intimidating than simply struggling through the situation.

Eventually, I realized that life becomes too busy and demanding to let fear stop you from getting what you need. The more I practiced advocating for myself, the more natural it became. Little by little, I grew into my own voice and became more comfortable standing up for myself.

I talk about this in more depth in this article:

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My Speech Impediment

This is something I still struggle to feel fully comfortable with, especially after hearing comments and remarks about my articulation throughout my life.

There were moments when someone would ask me to repeat myself two or three times, and instead of thinking they simply didn't hear me, I immediately assumed my speech was the problem.

But as someone who lives in New York, I've come to realize that I'm surrounded by people from countless cultural backgrounds, languages, and accents. What makes me any more different?

We tend to notice the things we're self-conscious about much more than anyone else does. I've also realized that when we constantly worry about our insecurities, we often convince ourselves that everyone else is focused on them too.

If you present yourself as someone who has a challenge but doesn't let it stop you from pursuing opportunities, that's the impression people are most likely to remember, not your voice or what's on your ears, but your confidence and your demeanor.

Of course, it's not always easy. But remind yourself that if you met another person with a confident personality and a slight accent, your impression of them probably wouldn't be based solely on their accent. You'd remember how they carried themselves and what they had to say.

Of course, some people will always choose to focus on differences. But regardless, those people would probably find something else to criticize anyway.

So you might as well be yourself. Don't allow your insecurities to hold you back because I promise they're occupying your mind far more than they're occupying anyone else's.

People Staring at My Equipment and Feeling the Need to Hide

As someone who cares a lot about first impressions and how I'm perceived, I used to feel extremely uncomfortable whenever I noticed people staring at my hearing aid or cochlear implant.

Because of that, I sometimes instinctively covered my ears. I simply wanted people to see me first.

I wanted people to see Amena before they saw her hearing aid and cochlear implant, to realize that they're just a part of who she is, not her entire identity.

Over time, though, I realized that not every stare automatically comes from insincerity or judgment. Sometimes, it's simply curiosity.

Yes, it can still feel uncomfortable. But then I remind myself that I represent something many people may have never seen before. A single interaction can shape how someone thinks about hearing loss moving forward.

I'm not saying you have the responsibility to represent the entire deaf and hard-of-hearing community. But simply by being yourself, you can challenge misconceptions, encourage kindness, and remind people that hearing devices don't define the person wearing them.